Straws

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing with my life
I am not happy nor am I satisfied with what I have achieved
I’ve gone through so much strife
Just to get to what I had set out to achieve
I’m almost there… but that is just a piece of paper
And a wealth of knowledge and information
But I do not feel that erratic beat of my heart
That tells me that I am happy
The joyous feeling that I had as I chased after tadpoles in the muck
The anticipatory emotions that I had as I climbed an Acacia tree
The exhilaration of seeing the view atop the tree
None…none of those feelings are felt now
Instead I am constantly filled with the sense of sorrow
As though I am grappling to thin straws
That the love I found was not mine to have and to hold
Doomed to be left in solitude as the years take its toll