Forgotten

The knife is against my wrist.
Would it hurt as it slices through the skin?
Would blood spurt out in gushes?
Would you even care?
I am just a toy to you.
Something to replace when gone.
Thrown in the trash.
Forgotten...

As always

It is time to let go
Emotions are still raw
As always you are unable to sense it
I am hurting inside
As always you are oblivious of it
A knife penetrating deep in the heart
This is how it feels to be me

It is time to let go
Blame placed on me
As always you never understand
Tear stained cheeks
As always you do not see
This slashed heart cannot take anymore
This is how it feels to be me

It is time to let go
Not allowed to say anything more
As always others come before me
Emotions toyed around like a yoyo
As always you do not realise
The pain and hurt you caused all these years
This is how it feels to be me

Days Gone By

Incoherent thoughts running through my mind
Rationality evades me when I need it most
Lucidity come back to me and tell me this is wrong
So what they say is true, what you don't seek you will find?
I am not looking for anything, just lost
In my own little world, singing my own song
Of love, peace and happiness of days gone by.
And then all of a sudden, I start to cry
Those days are gone, they will not return
Is that why it feels as though everything burns?
Eternal flame of love, is there even such a thing?
My love is pure like fire, it burns through my senses
All I have now are my thoughts of you,
Running through this confused mind
Despite thinking things through,
I guess I still am in love with you

Where do you find your beauty? it just gets more depressing by the day

Your beauty lies in your despair.
The sad girl walks by herself on a rainy day.
How graceful she moves. Her pain has made her
beautiful. Others say to themselves as you
walk by. How can they not see that you are
beautiful? Because you are.

Your motive:
To feel happiness just once before you die.

Your quote:
Stranger, hold me for a while.

Your colors:
Deep red and black.

Your song:
Fields of Innocence by Evanescence
"Where has my heart gone? I want to go back
to beliving in everything."

What emotion dominates your life?

Why so sad? Depression is constantly what you feel.
You feel like no one wants to be around you and
that you can't do anything right.

True Emotions?

Your true emotion:
sadness. You are
depressed and lonely, you show happiness on the
outside; but are truly crying for help inside.

Your quote:
A heart can be broken once; and can be fixed, but
that scar of pain and betrayel will always
remain.

Your song:
"Untitled" -Simple Plan

Your elemental sign:
fire

Your lucky days:
June 13th and February 21st.

Your needs:
Love and happiness.

Wishes

Every night, I look upon the darkened sky
Without fail, every single night I make a single wish
That single star, that I see that night
Upon the first star, I ask that for you to be with me
Every day, without a doubt I'd get a message from you
Telling me, just how things are
Reassuring me, that we'll be together soon
Saying that, you love me
Easing the longing, that you make me feel
Every night, so the same procedure goes
To be with you, I make my wish

Quiet things

The quiet things that people do not know
Of herself, that she does not understand well
Beneath the who-the-heck cares exterior
Which is simply just an empty shell
Lies a sensitive and fragile little girl
Who does not really feel she is inferior
Just not understood and not loved
Nobody really knows her that well
She keeps her fears and emotions inside
Who will unfurl the layers beneath?
No one will, like layers of an onion
There are too many facets to me
She is not just a student
She is not just a girl
She is a person, who is lost in this world
She is in love, yet she is afraid
She is unhappy, yet she hides it
She is morose, yet she wants to stop feeling as such
Who will help her find her way out of this maze of misery?
Who will save her from her own path of self-destruction?
No one will, for she hides her emotions and fears deep inside
One day the dam will break, and the tears will flow
Let her cry freely, and just let her emotions go

The Fool

The girl sits by the window
Watching as the world go by
Time seems to be moving so slow
She wished that it’ll just fly
She fell in love with an old friend
She thought that it would be her joy
Instead she’s filled with hurt and pain
And it’s all because of the feelings she has for the boy
The boy made her laugh when she cried
The boy made her smile when she frowned
The boy made her feel safe and loved
The boy did all that when she felt her world was crumbling around her
He evoked emotions that made her feel as though as she’s flying high above
The high she felt was temporal when she discovered that he had another love
That other love felt as deeply for him as she herself did
What then do you call the girl trapped within this web?
She’s spiraling into darkness for all the feelings she felt
She cares for the other love but she can’t help but still be in love with the boy
She understands why the other love fell for the boy
She knows the other love needs the boy
She feels like a rag doll, her emotions are tossing around
She knows he loves her and means no harm
She knows that he loves her just as much as she loves him
So the girl conflicted by her emotions, decides to take her life
A bottle of sleeping pills to aid in her escape
Unfortunately, she just ends up in hospital attached to some device
So what does one call this girl?
A fool in love or just someone too dumb to face the reality that she’ll never have him
God gave her another chance to live her life now
How she wished time flew so fast so she did not have to think what she has to do
Time heals all wounds that is what people say
But who are they?
The girl is just a fool come what may, she will still love the boy till the end of her days.

Conflict

My emotions are conflicting with my beliefs
My passion is conflicting with my religion
Conflicted emotions derived from the turmoil within me
Just makes me wish that I was buried 7 feet deep in the ground
Let the worms burry into my lifeless body
Let the scorpions have their fill of me
Let the snakes slither around me
Let my body enrich the soil
Let the beauty of nature grow above my grave
Nothing will stop me from feeling these emotions
They seem to be engraved into my damaged heart
Pain, deep at the bottom of my heart
Aches, especially whenever it realizes the conflict that it’ll faces
A situation that I cannot escape
A grave has been dug
This empty shell longs to be in it
To not feel any more pain
To not feel any more sorrow
To feel nothing at all….
To not feel any more pain
To not feel any more sorrow
To feel nothing at all….

Straws

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing with my life
I am not happy nor am I satisfied with what I have achieved
I’ve gone through so much strife
Just to get to what I had set out to achieve
I’m almost there… but that is just a piece of paper
And a wealth of knowledge and information
But I do not feel that erratic beat of my heart
That tells me that I am happy
The joyous feeling that I had as I chased after tadpoles in the muck
The anticipatory emotions that I had as I climbed an Acacia tree
The exhilaration of seeing the view atop the tree
None…none of those feelings are felt now
Instead I am constantly filled with the sense of sorrow
As though I am grappling to thin straws
That the love I found was not mine to have and to hold
Doomed to be left in solitude as the years take its toll